Chronic Conundrum
Everyone’s Chronic Conundrum is that we are born into a complex web of deceit, and it’s challenging to see the Truth. With the proliferation of AI, this hellscape of “expert-led” control is only going to get worse. It’s my duty as a human to sound the alarm, even if no one is listening. Some would call this martyrdom, I say it’s heroic.
To elude the digitized tentacles of the cybernetic Borg, one must possess the courage to walk a different path, an architecture of sovereignty built through discipline, not just dissent. My wife and I recently sold everything to live “on the road” with our son. It’s a modern day pilgrimage with righteous intent.
Give me 20 minutes every Friday, and I’ll update you on our journey from my Bathroom Booth of Truth, as we seek sanity in an increasingly insane world.
Episodes
29 episodes
Lululemon & The Suburban Slog: The Season Finale!
Today, we’re wondering if I will return to the sterile embrace of the suburban slog or if the opportunity to bang my wife in the shower is enough to keep us in the flow state. We’re dissecting why the world has become a giant sh*t sandwich that...
COVID & The Pontoons of Resistance: Find Your Tribe
Today, we’re recounting a tangential experience with death via James Van der Beek and why my parents' house was consumed by the cacophonous bleating of my mom’s CNN habit. We’re dissecting the psychotic movie script of made-up catastrophe known...
Epstein & The Nocturnal Struggle for My Soul: Know Your Enemy!
Today, we’re wondering if I should be as robust as a 5-foot-tall Korean woman and why the world follows the lead of prostitute-bangin' weasels like Bill Gates. We’re dissecting how the Epstein Files have become the primary fuel in the current g...
Mexico & The Toilet Paper Rubicon: It Ain't Worth It
Today, we’re navigating "Street Mexico" where cats lick trash like popsicles and how I gave up a free house sit because I'd have to throw my dirty toilet paper in the trash. We're wondering if a sailboat vagabond we met here is actually just an...
Arsenic & The Chubalub Infestation: Is It Time to Go?
Today, we’re wondering if arsenic poisoning is the reason I’m farting razorblades and why the local water lines have developed a hardy and robust biofilm slime layer. We’re dissecting the Chubalub infestation in San Miguel and why every Gringo ...
Masculinity & The Jiggly Jowls of Consensus: Learn to Say No
Today, we’re wondering if we’re all just bubbling in the giant vat of insanity and why the only way out is to exit Normieville, USA. We’re dissecting the jiggly jowls of modern consensus and how this madness is used to glue little boys' butts t...
Ryan Gosling & RBF: Be Better in Every Way
Today, we’re navigating the "resting bitch face" of the Mexican highlands while observing a curious gaggle of scantily clad women who are turning the Parroquia into a brothel. I’m sharing how I officially stopped being a transplanted Chubalub b...
Crappy Cars & Loose Women: Know Your Worth!
Today, we’re wondering if my Mexican ID makes me look like a thug and how my ex-girlfriend resembled a retarded Linda Ronstadt. We’re dissecting the Davos crowd’s plan to swap our autonomy for cricket paste, and why I’m holding out for street-m...
Nightmares & Coke-Guzzling Mexicans: We Need to Wake Up
Today, we’re wondering if my wife could fit inside a garbage can and why the "chubalub" might be going international. We’re dissecting the cult of American everything, and pondering if a demon could force us to make love to our cousins. Plus, I...
Demons & Stinky Squirrels: Why Perception Shapes Your Reality
Today, we’re dissecting how people pay 180 grand to lock kids up in cinderblock prisons and why pretty little girls are basically demons. We’re also remembering what a Mexican 'stinky squirrel' taught me about reality and why I now have the ank...
OCD & Sasquatch Piss: How to Break Free of Mental Traps
Today, we’re delving into a conga line of childhood filth and wondering why some of us had to tap the couch until we cried. We’re lamenting the rise of phone-addicted chubby kids and why my entire wardrobe used to smell like Sasquatch piss. Plu...
Dreams & Stubborn Staph Infections: Take Charge of Your Life
Today, we’re wondering if we can record a podcast in the symphonic cacophony of Mexico and why some cities are like a blonde with big tits. We’re dissecting the cost of keeping your butt cheeks closed at the TSA and why San Miguel de Allende is...
Mexico & Boss Bitches: You Gotta Stand in Your Power
Today, we’re wondering why my buddy Peter is creaming his underwear over season 2 and how we finally fled the suburban slog for the highlands of Mexico. We’re dissecting the majesty of Thailand’s shit-eating pigs and how my wife (the Boss Bitch...
Society & Soy-Chubs: We're Hitting the Road!
Welcome to season 2 of Chron Con! Today, we’re wondering if dive-bombing birds are my magical mystery guides and why I’m trading the 'chubalubs' of Arkansas for a life modeled after Jesus. We’re dissecting the rise of soy-titted gamer boys and ...
Death & A Massive Tidal Wave of Crap: It's Time to Flee
This is the Season 1 finale of Chron Con! Today, we’re wondering if my own brother might be a retarded dolphin and why your therapist is incentivized to never cure you. We’re dissecting the urge to fake our own deaths and pondering if there’s a...
Stupidity & HOKA Sneakers: Why the World Should End
Today, we’re wondering if farmers get lots of ass and how American cheese is the equivalent of Brie. We’re dissecting why HOKA sneakers are the ultimate expression of retard culture and how my own magnetism somehow overcomes my stupidity. Plus,...
Therapy & Naked Men's Groups: We Have to Do Better
Today, we’re wondering if I could be the 'Bodfather' and why I’d never go down on a hooker. We’re dissecting how the world has become a "retarded Disneyland" and why getting into a fistfight with your father might be the best form of therapy. P...
Self-Esteem & Horny Koreans: What Hides Behind Fear?
Today, we’re wondering if telling salacious sex stories is the ultimate aphrodisiac and why my mother’s Trump Derangement Syndrome is a sign of extreme lack. We’re exploring my own identity as a 'Big Giant Baby' and the night a foot-long millip...
Boomers & Mediterranean Sex Stars: Why I’m Quitting Chron Con
Today, we’re wondering why Boomers have devolved into giant, wrinkly babies and why my mother feels the need to pretend to read. We’re exploring the dark mirror of the ubiquitous 'nasty-ass ho' and a night in Australia when I was mistaken for a...
Dreamscapes & Booty Calls: We Live in a Demented World
Today, we’re wondering if I’m the world’s first 'Bodcaster' and why orthodontists are actually just high-status mechanics of filth. We’re exploring the blight of 'Resting Bitch Face' and the night I encountered Courtney Love in an LA dive bar. ...
Public School & Pleated Khakis: The System Is Psychopathy
Today, I’m joining Lindsey Scharmyn on Rogue Ways to wonder why I was once a khaki-wearing corporate ding-a-ling who wished for death and how my wife’s adoption story hides a dark reality. We’re exploring why we fled to a converted goat barn du...
Schizos & Suburban Gunrunners: Why You Should Be Weird
Today, we’re wondering if my wife is actually a pocket-sized Yoda and why 'rawdoggin' your next plane ride is the only way to escape the metaverse. We’re dissecting the strange life lessons of a suburban gunrunner and why you should absolutely ...
The Psyche & Crying on Podcasts: Vulnerability Is Death!
Today, we’re exploring the gross asthenosphere of my psyche and explaining why I only dance with men at weddings. We’re wondering if only real men cry during podcast interviews and if my show is finally taking off in Amsterdam. Plus, I’ll share...
Self Confidence & Ruler Beatings: Everyone Needs a Friend
Today, we’re investigating why everyone needs a "Peter" in their life and whether this podcast can finally land me some international fantasy ass. We’re also remembering when Catholic nuns beat me with rulers (and why I liked it) and how our su...
Loneliness & Barehanding Bats: Don't Be Afraid of Life
Today, we’re wondering if a Danish rent-a-grandma business is a cure for loneliness and how weird Portland actually is once you’ve seen a guy get shanked. We’re dissecting the physics of beating a hobo in a fist fight and how podcasting from my...